Opportunity presented

An opportunity has been presented to me work wise that really wasn't what I expected.  It could help me with building contacts and reputation for my company, but it pays a lot less than I would get as a teacher. 

I'm definitely going to take it, it's regular money no matter how much it is and means I'll be involved in a school community again.  I just hope it lives up to my expectations when it comes to the opportunity it presents.  It's not obvious opportunity.  There is no guarantee that anything will come from this, so it's up to me to prove myself and work it.  I need to make something out of this.

This means working on what is my major obstacle, my fear of social situations.  Specifically networking.  I can stand in front of a crowd of people and deliver a course of Professional Development now and not bat an eye.  I don't get daunted by that any longer, I've conquered that fear, and it was a major fear.  But the face to face, meeting and greeting, chatting without always having a specific topic or goal is hard for me.  Those who I've become friends with already are not a challenge for me, I can chat with them fine, but people I barely or only slightly know are a larger challenge.  I'm going to keep working at it though, I can't conquer this fear too.

Now I just need this opportunity to come through and help me to feel more secure financially.  I think it'll help me with my depression about being home alos, people to get ot know and socialise with!

Cowards and a pile of squares.

I found this horrid little message in my mail box this afternoon.  Not only did they not sign their name and say who they represent (cowards!), they've dropped this nasty little pieces of paper in a major immigrant area of Sydney.  Nasty pieces of work.

I really can't understand the ignorant and prejudice attitude of some people.  They happily enjoy the benefits of having immigrants come to Australia, but then grumble about them stealing jobs and blame them for everything that's wrong with our wonderful country.  It just makes me so sad.

On a happier note...

I've been working hard on my crochet squares and am now 1/6 into my blanket.  It's great knowing what colours I'm going to use now.  I'm a little concerned that the brown is a bit too dark and that the honey colour doesn't match, but short of mixing wool types I didn't have a lot of choice.  Not to mention this wool was on special. 

Thing I can't understand is why people would do this for any reason outside of pleasure like I'm doing it for.  Even with the wool on special it's costing me over $100 to make!

Lonely Birthday

So I just wrote a long passive agreesive blog entry and deleted it.  I hate it when I do that.  My blog might be a place to express myself, but it is not a way to send messages to those I love.  If I have issues I need to raise them with them, not put it out there for the world to see and make them feel bad.

My birthday was a whole lot of spoilage.  Not only did my partner buy for me the wonderful boots I've been drooling over for weeks, I also got a 4 hour day spa package called "The Be All and End All" at Endota Spa.  It was actually for our anniversary, but I went the day for my birthday, so it felt like it was for that.  I got a foot bath, scrubed down, wrapped, soaked in a spa, massaged and a facial.  Totally wonderful, if you're interested in a good spa I'd highly recommend them and they're all over Australia apparently.  I got myself a couple of cupcakes afterward the continue the celebration at home.

So that was my birthday, it was kind of lonely not having the ones I love around me, but I suppose I need to get use to that.  I'm not a kid anymore and not every birthday is going to be a big celebration.

Teppanyaki and Karaoke

I went for a wonderful night out with friends last night.  My partner and I joined three friends for Teppanyaki.  It was a lot of fun watching all the action and tricks that you chef used.  For the second half he brought out the eggs, raw eggs mind you, and wanted us to catch them in bowls.  The first three went fine, so though I knew what I clutz I am at catching I didn't question myself too much.  Next thing I knew I had raw egg all over me.  And I do mean all over, the whole bottom half of my shirt and all down the legs of my pants. 

I think I'm still recovering, I'm not yet to the stage that I can laugh about it, but I know I'll get there.  I think what shocked me more than anything was the little reaction of those around me.  The staff really didn't do anything, just pointed me to the bathroom after I got myself up.  *sigh*  So when he started the next round of tossing food at us when I got back, I pretty much said outright "No", but still I got talked into it and ended up with cooked egg down my front.  I really am a clutz.  I think now that I was relying too much on his ability to aim!  It was good food and good fun though.

We headed to the pub around the corner then and had cocktails followed by karaoke and dancing.  It was a lot of fun just letting loose and being out.  I really miss going out like that.  It use to be such a regular thing for me, and now it's so rare.  Though considering the condition of my neck after some fairly enthusiastic dancing last night perhaps it for the best.  I wonder if that's my age or my fitness level...or both!  Well at least my fitness level I can keep working on. 

Granny squares

I've starting trying out crocheting again.  I haven't done any since I was about 7, so it was a sharp relearning curve to be able to do it.  Thankfully there are some seriously good tutorials on YouTube if you're interested.  Check out Teresa and Mikey.  I've been planning on doing this for a while and the deal was sealed when I found a really orignal but simple blanket design uning granny squares in a magazine.


Mum had given me some wool to use and practice on, it's really ugly colour, but it works for just getting better at sewing the squares.  I don't want to start on the real thing, so this will do.  What do you think of my first square?  Not too baby for a first try in over 20 years!  Now I only have to make 225 squares for the blanket, and that's after I've made enough practice ones to feel that I'm good enough to start.  I don't mind though, I started this as something I could do pretty mindlessly.  And if it works out I could be making blankets for all the family! 

Visiting family and self image

The past weekend we headed up to visit my parents in Tamworth.  We hadn't been up for a while so it was good to see them all, but the visit had more purpose than just this.  Firstly my partner needed a break away and he always feels better after having a break away from the city, secondly I needed to deliver Flat Puglet to my sister who had agreed to carry on his travels around Australia, she's also a big advocate for recycled pets and recently gave a cat a forever home herself.  That was another reason for our visit, we really wanted to meet the newest member to our family, my sister's new cat, Cindy.

The most important reason for our visit however was my dog Richie.  Richie was a gift from my parents when I got into university, however after I finished uni I went to live in Japan for 3 years and couldn't take him, so he stayed with my parents and got to like farm life, so I could never take him away from that when I returned to Australia.  Richie is getting old now, he's 13 years old, has arthritis, is deaf and almost blind with cateracts. 

A few weeks ago was a wake up call that he might not be with us for much longer as he was really struggling.  Mum was taking him to the vet to see if there was anything to be done.  Purely by accident in the process of this she took him off some eye drops he'd been given by the vet and made remarkable improvement.  So the ideas being tossed around that he might need to be put down were given up, but the dread I felt about it remained.  So I really wanted to go up and spend some time with him. 

It was good to see that while Richie is not doing as well as he once was, he is okay.  The other dogs there take care of him, which is a little ironic since before all this he wouldn't have anything to do with those young, energetic girls.  The important this is that he's okay for now and I got to see him again and so if he must go I will feel more at peace about it.  I certainly don't like the idea of him suffering.

Monday was a hard day for me.  I've been dieting and exercising a lot lately, but it's hard to constantly deny yourself.  Well not that I do really, I still have little treats, but when your partner is eating chocolate everyday it feels like denial.  I ended up balling my eyes out on Monday after I couldn't resist some chocolate, the dogs new instantly that something was wrong and started barking and trying to get through the windows to me.  That alerted my partner after a bit that something was wrong.  So we ended up having a long talk about not making it so hard for me to succeed at these challenges for me.

I think what was really important about it was the negative way I viewed myself and how I need to keep working on improving that.  And I really am working on it.

Work, Flat Puglet and no ATCs

I haven't blogged at all this week because I've been doing so much!  I had a few meetings for work, gotta keep building those relationships.  I even though I might have had a day booked, which got me really excited, but it fell through.  Still they said they'd like to book me at some later point.  So I'll just have to keep that door open.

Flat Puglet also arrived this week.  Flat Puglet is traveling around the world to spread the message about rescue pets, that they're just as good as kittens or puppies, if not better.  So Flat Puglet and I checked out Sydney.  We even went on a Sydney Ferry which I hadn't done in years.  Anyway, my entry will be up on the site in a few days.  In the meant time, here's a sneak peek with a picture that isn't going to be there because it didn't turn out as well as I hoped.

I'm a little disappointed in myself for how little art I've been doing of late.  I really have been neglecting it, and it's the ATCs especially that are making me feel bad.  I'm feeling pressure to do them and it's only making the inability to do them worse!  I'm thinking about taking a break from them and cancelling myself as a moderator.  It might help me get my grove back.

Oh BTW, check out this great list of 101 Things I love about Dogs.